THE PURPLE CARPET

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a type of abuse. It usually involves a spouse or partner, but it can also involve a child, an elderly relative, or another family member.

Domestic violence can include different types of abuse, such as:

Physical Violence

It can cause injuries such as bruises or fractures (broken bones).

Sexual Violence

Includes sexual assault.

Emotional Abuse

Includes threats, insults, humiliation, and put-downs. It may also involve controlling behavior, such as telling the victim how to act or dress and preventing them from seeing family or friends.

Financial Abuse

Involves controlling access to money.

Harassment or Stalking

Repeated and unwanted contact that causes fear or concern for the victim’s safety. This may include watching or following the victim. The stalker may make repeated unwanted phone calls or send unwanted text messages.

Who Is Affected by Domestic Violence?

It is difficult to know exactly how common domestic violence is because it is often not reported.

However, we do know that anyone can be affected by it. Domestic violence can happen to men or women of all ages. It affects people of all income and education levels.

What Are the Signs That Someone May Be a Victim of Domestic Violence?

If you believe a loved one may be a victim of domestic violence, learn about the different types of abuse and watch for these signs.

Your friend or loved one:

• Has unexplained cuts or bruises

• Avoids friends, family, and favorite activities

• Makes excuses for their partner’s behavior

• Appears uncomfortable or fearful around their partner

Your friend or loved one’s partner:

• Yells at or mocks them

• Tries to control them by making all the decisions

• Checks on them constantly at work or school

• Forces them to do sexual acts they do not want to do

• Threatens self-harm if the partner wants to leave

What Can I Do If I Am a Victim of Domestic Violence?

Your safety is the most important concern. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you are not in immediate danger, you can:

• Seek medical attention if you have injuries or have experienced sexual assault

• Call a hotline for free and anonymous help: You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TTY)

• Find out where to get help in your community: Contact local organizations that may assist you

• Prepare a safety plan to leave: Domestic violence usually does not get better on its own. Think about a safe place to go and the things you will need when leaving

• Keep evidence: Save evidence of the abuse, such as photos of injuries or threatening emails and text messages. Keep it in a safe place where the abuser cannot access it

• Talk to someone you trust: This may be a family member, friend, coworker, or spiritual leader

• Consider obtaining a restraining order to protect yourself

How Can I Help Someone Who Is a Victim of Domestic Violence?

Tell your loved one that being treated this way is not healthy and that it is not their fault. You should:

• Call 911 if there is immediate danger

• Watch for signs of abuse: Learn the warning signs and pay attention to what you observe

• Learn about local resources: Get addresses and phone numbers for local support services in your community so you can share them when the person is ready

• Set aside time to talk: Make sure you speak in a safe and private place. The abusive partner may have access to their phone or computer, so be careful when sharing information through text or email

• Be specific about your concerns: Describe the behaviors that worry you. Be as specific as possible when explaining why you are concerned

• Create a safety plan: If your loved one is ready to leave the abusive relationship, help them create a plan to leave as safely as possible. A domestic violence counselor can help create a safety plan

• Be patient and do not judge: Talk about your concerns, but understand they may not be ready to discuss the situation. Let them know you are available whenever they are ready and that you will listen without judgment.